Why aren’t women confident?
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I taught my first boxing class in about three years on Thursday — and I was so nervous. Not just a little nervous. Butterflies-in-the-stomach, “I’m not sure I can do this” nervous.
And I wasn’t the only one.
Several of my newer students messaged me to say they were feeling scared too. This got me thinking: why do mature, capable women still feel nervous when trying something new?
High Expectations and the Fear of Imperfection
For me, the nerves came from my own high expectations. I worried that if I didn’t teach a perfect class, my students would hate it — and somehow, that would turn into them hating me.
Writing it down made me realise how extreme that thinking was. Most of my students had never boxed before, so they wouldn’t even know what a “perfect” class looked like.
And honestly, imperfection can be endearing. People are generally happy to support someone who’s doing their best — even if it’s not seamless.
Why Boxing Feels Intimidating
Some students may have been nervous simply because boxing is physical and punchy. For many, it might have been the first time they’d given themselves permission to release pent-up feelings through movement.
But beyond the punches, boxing is a lot like yoga: it requires focus, attention to the present moment, and conscious breathing. It’s a moving meditation — just higher energy.
Nervousness vs. Excitement
Another thing I’ve noticed is how similar nervousness and excitement feel in the body. The physical cues overlap a lot.
With everything going on in the world right now, it’s understandable that our nervous systems often lean toward anxiety rather than positivity. That’s not a failure — it’s a natural response to living in a chaotic world.
How Women Can Move Past Nerves
I hope we can start noticing when nerves are holding us back — or when they’re simply signs of stepping into something unfamiliar but meaningful. We’ve done uncomfortable things before, and we’ve survived them. We can handle this discomfort too.
And I also hope we can start taking better care of our nervous systems during times of uncertainty, so we can begin to recognise positive feelings like excitement instead of letting nerves automatically turn into anxiety.
Introducing Soft Landings
That’s also why I created Soft Landings. It’s a monthly offering designed to support your nervous system in simple, realistic ways — especially if life already feels full or overwhelming.
Each month, you receive a small collection of practices you can return to when you’re feeling jangly, flat, or on edge: gentle guidance, grounding reminders, and space to land rather than push. Soft Landings isn’t about becoming calmer or more confident overnight. It’s about giving yourself somewhere steady to come back to, so that when nerves show up, they don’t automatically turn into anxiety — and when excitement is present, you’re more able to recognise it and let it be felt.
Final Thoughts
Nerves aren’t a sign that we’re failing. They’re a sign that we’re alive, stretching, and stepping into new experiences. With a little self-support, mindfulness, and space to land, confidence isn’t something we chase — it’s something we allow ourselves to grow into.