The truth about rest, burnout and “lazy” days
Why women feel overwhelmed and why a pause might help
At the beginning of every Bali retreat, I say something like this:
“The hardest part might not be the yoga. It might be the fact that you don’t have to make any decisions today.”
And for some retreat guests, that’s incredibly confronting.
Why is rest confronting?
As women, we make a lot of decisions. What’s for dinner. Who needs new socks. Whether we can squeeze in one more commitment. We carry the invisible labour — and often the emotional labour, too.
But we don’t talk about it. We don’t want to seem dramatic. We look around and assume everyone else is coping — so we just keep going.
For my retreat guests there is a sudden change. They’ve been busy getting home life and work life sorted before they leave the country for a bit and then, the only decision they have to make is:
“What time do I want my massage today?”
And instead of relaxing... some of them freeze. Because without the to-do list running the show, they’re suddenly alone with what’s underneath the busy-ness.
The real thoughts. The real feelings.
The ones that aren’t always convenient or comfortable.
But here’s the thing: that discomfort? It’s not failure. It’s not weakness. It’s the first step toward rest.
Reframing “Laziness”
While I’ve been on retreat this year, I’ve realised something with absolute clarity:
There’s no such thing as laziness.
There is only rest, or an essential pause.
We’re taught that if we’re not constantly achieving, we’re falling behind. That if we’re not ticking boxes, we’re letting someone down. So when we stop — when we can’t push through — we blame ourselves.
We call it laziness.
But let’s reframe that:
If you’re lacking energy, maybe you need rest.
If you’re lacking motivation, maybe it’s not the right thing.
If you’re lacking confidence, maybe you need emotional support.
None of those things make you lazy. They make you human.
But when we judge ourselves as lazy, we often:
Push through and drain ourselves even more
Force ourselves into things that don’t align
Damage our confidence in the process
So what if next time, instead of calling yourself lazy…. You called it what it really is?
An Essential Pause.
A moment to rest.
A moment to re-centre.
A moment to listen.
Because rest isn’t a reward — it’s a requirement.
An invitation for you
If this resonates, I’d love to invite you to my upcoming one-day retreat: Pause. A space for rest, reflection, and gentle reconnection. You can read more about it here.
