Dear Rose # 6 - Bittersweet

Rose is an amalgam of us - women in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who are looking for somewhere they are seen, heard and listened to.

Dear Rose,

I cried four times about Barney today.

Grief is so weird, isn’t it? I have days where I see photos of him and smile, and then days like today when it just hurts. I can’t remember exactly how it felt to have him lean against me on the couch anymore, or the sound of his breathing in bed. All I can remember is how much I loved him, and how much love he gave me.

When my friend died, someone said that the hurt and pain is equal to the love we had for them. It’s the same with animals, too—maybe even more so, because we project so much of our own thoughts and personality onto them.

Anyway, when I think of him today, it is the definition of bittersweet. My heart feels so full of love for him, then it bursts and breaks because he’s no longer here. It feels good to have loved someone so much, but it also makes the pain almost unbearable.

Maybe this is all "too much" for so early in our pen-pal relationship, but I want to be honest. This is just where I’m at today.

Love,

Em xx