Dear Rose # 37 - Staking My Queendom: Sovereignty, Endometriosis, and Choosing My Life

Rose is an amalgam of us - women in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who are looking for somewhere they are seen, heard and listened to.

Dear Rose,

From the moment I first heard the word "sovereignty" used in a personal context, I loved it. I even love how it feels coming out of my mouth (though it’s a total bitch to spell). I love the idea of being the absolute ruler of my own body, mind, and life.

But like all the iconic rulers,  I’ve had to fight like hell for my independence - and it makes wearing the crown even sweeter, even if it’s a little crooked.

My body was claimed by endometriosis. It’s like a little army of cells marched into the wrong place, took up residence in my pelvic cavity, and staked their claim. I can almost see them impaling my ovaries with a little metal sign saying, “Ours.” It certainly felt like that.

As for my mind—well, I do own my thoughts. I’m not in some mind-control cult. Or am I? The need to make everyone happy even if I’m miserable, is that mine?  The self-imposed pressure to achieve at all costs - did I really come up with that?  Perhaps my mind is controlled by outside forces more than I realise.

But this life, this unique partner-free, child-free, running a yoga business, and publishing letters to you on the internet life - that is all mine and no one can take it away from me.

So, here it is. This is where I stake my queendom.

Love, Em xx