Dear Rose # 17 - Grief bubbles and midlife friendships

Rose is an amalgam of us - women in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who are looking for somewhere they are seen, heard and listened to.

Dear Rose,

I caught up with a friend tonight—one that I almost let slip out of my life. I’m so glad I didn’t.

Last year we both experienced a lot of grief and turmoil. And I have to say, one of the hardest things about this stage of life is navigating this exact situation.

It’s so very hard to connect with someone who is grieving. Their personalities are unpredictable. They can be vague and forgetful. They may dissolve into floods of tears, which is just awkward for everyone. And honestly, they can be very self-centred. I’m speaking from the griever’s experience here.

So if two friends are grieving at the same time, well, it could be a recipe for deep connection or a recipe for disaster.

My friend and I couldn’t really connect last year because our grief bubbles were so huge they kept bouncing off each other. But now that our bubbles are getting smaller and thinner, we are finding our way back to our friendship.

We are changed forever and also somehow still exactly the same. I’m so glad I didn’t let it slip away.

Love, Em xx