4 unexpected ways that being on a diet can negatively impact your health.

We are led to believe by our doctors, the media, influencers, and great aunt Margery that diet and exercise are the best and ONLY  ways to improve our health and increase our lifespan.  And please don’t get me wrong, eating well and exercising are very important factors for health.  Unfortunately for some, this can lead to extreme measures to stay healthy like going on restrictive diets which don’t work in the long term for up to 98% of the population and can impact mental health and even lead to eating disorders.

[If you’re wondering how to eat healthy without focusing on weight loss or restrictive diets, check out intuitive eating.  It’s been shown to improve nutritional uptake without the need for damaging diets.]

An increasing body of research is now showing that loneliness is one of the most important health risks.  People who experience or even perceive they are experiencing loneliness, have a higher risk for mortality.  The research shows that having social connections is just as important as diet and exercise for a healthy life.

Unfortunately, being on a restrictive diet plan (like keto or intermittent fasting for example) can have unexpected and often unintended health consequences because it can increase feelings of loneliness.  The irony here is that most women I talk to who are trying to lose weight think they will be happier if they do, but in conjunction with the lack of joy in their food, they are often missing out on the health benefits of social connection.

Here are some examples of how dieting isolates us and increases feelings of loneliness:

1.      Sneaking food behind the back of family and friends (and your diet plan!) 

I haven’t experienced this in relation to food because I have lived alone for a long time.  However, I started experiencing it towards the end of my drinking.  I share a recycling bin with my landlady and I was starting to feel embarrassed about how many wine bottles I was putting in there every week.  For that reason, I switched to drinking cask wine because I could hide it easier.  This led to intense feelings of shame and isolation which was one of the reasons I stopped drinking over two years ago.  This is really hard to admit publicly, but I do so to show that it is possible to make changes in ways that feel impossible at times and to help those who might be in a similar position to know they aren’t alone.

2.      Saying no to social activities because they don’t have your food options. 

I used to do this a lot when I was trying to lose weight, especially for night-time meals.  By that time of the day, I’d have “used up” a good portion of my allowed calories so I wouldn’t feel comfortable eating at a restaurant where it was hard to control my calorie intake.  This meant that I missed out on being with friends which increased feelings of sadness, loneliness, and isolation.

3.      Not being present at social gatherings because you are so preoccupied with the food you’re eating (or trying really hard not to eat). 

For me, this was one of the worst side effects of dieting for weight loss.  I would find it really hard to concentrate on conversations while I was wondering if should be eating whatever was in front of me.  I think we’ve all experienced that feeling of being alone in a crowded room.  I experienced that a lot back in my dieting days.

4.      Avoiding social gatherings once you start to put on weight after you can’t stay on the weight loss plan anymore. 

I haven’t experienced this one personally but the number of times I have heard women say they aren’t going to their high school reunion because they don’t look as good as they’d like is too many to count!


But don’t I have to be on a diet in order to lose weight and be healthy?

For those that are reading this and feel like weight loss is essential for good health and that being on a diet is the only way to get there, I want to gently reassure you that there are other ways to be healthy.  Eating well, with pleasure, and intuitively often leads to a higher nutrient intake which is what will give you better energy and better health.  Moving your body in some form of pleasurable (to you) exercise is essential if you are able.  My online fitness program, Fit & Free, helps you get fit and strong from home, so you don’t need to exercise in public (if that worries you), and it gives you a social connection with a small group of like-minded women.  Aim to get better sleep.  Manage your stress with practices like mindfulness and yoga.  Learn to respect your body.  Spend time with your loved ones.  These things are all just as, or perhaps more, important than the number on a scale.

And know that I am here for you.


Join my free online group, The Kindness Space

I am on a mission to help people get as healthy as they can while also understanding that not everyone can be super healthy (I’ve got two chronic illnesses, so I know this feeling!!), skinny, or perfect.  That’s why I’ve created a new way to connect called “The Kindness Space”, a fortnightly Zoom conversation where I’ll present some information about taking care of yourself with kindness and encourage a group discussion of the topic.  In some sessions I’ll invite expert guests to chat, other times we’ll practice yoga together and other times we’ll meditate.  Always together as a group so we don’t feel so lonely. 

You can get all the information about Kindness Space by signing up for the newsletter below.

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What Selena Gomez’s TikTok can teach Gen Xers about body shaming, living with an autoimmune disease, and kindness.

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Diet Culture Takedown - the one where I respond to a troll