Dear Rose # 14 - Genuinely Smiling

Rose is an amalgam of us - women in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who are looking for somewhere they are seen, heard and listened to.

Dear Rose,

Women (or anyone that feels safer staying small) are expected to be compassionate, kind, accommodating, strong, and silent, all while keeping a smile on our faces.

Over the last couple of months, whether due to menopause, grief, or chronic pain, I’ve found that expectation really hard to meet—especially the smiling part. For quite some time, I was beating myself up for it. I didn’t like the unkind thoughts I was having about some of the people around me. I felt "wrong."

But lately, I’ve reframed it.

I’ve realised that my resilience is low right now. Because of the menopause, the grief, and the pain, it is simply harder for me to be that "perfect" version of myself. And honestly? If you knew some of the shit I’ve had to put up with lately, you wouldn’t expect the smile, either.

Making this reframe has helped me be kinder, more compassionate, and more accommodating to myself. And paradoxically, that is what’s helping me smile.

Sending love,

Em xx