The Soft Start
Choosing Yourself
Gently Resisting Outside Pressures
By now, as we move into our last day of Soft Start, you may have noticed something important: A lot of what exhausts us isn’t our bodies — it’s the pressure we carry around them.
Many of us have grown up swimming in cultural expectations about what it means to be a “good” woman.
To be productive.
Self-controlled.
Pleasant.
Low-maintenance.
Always improving.
When we struggle under that weight, the blame often turns inward. We tell ourselves we’re lazy, undisciplined, or not trying hard enough.
But “laziness” is a convenient story. It ignores context. It ignores fatigue, grief, pain, caregiving, ageing, masking, burnout and emotional load. And it keeps us striving for approval instead of listening to ourselves.
There are entire industries built on this disconnection — benefiting when women feel behind, inadequate, or in need of fixing. The more we doubt ourselves, the easier it is to sell us solutions.
Choosing yourself doesn’t mean opting out of the world or giving up on growth. It means questioning the voices you’ve been responding to.
It means asking:
Who taught me this wasn’t enough?
Who benefits when I keep pushing past myself?
Choosing yourself is often quiet. It looks like rest. Like saying no without explanation. Like trusting that your worth isn’t earned through effort.
And sometimes, it simply looks like stopping.
Today’s Practice: Choosing Yourself
Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down.
Place one hand on your body — wherever it naturally lands. Your chest, your belly, your thigh.
Take a slow breath in. And a longer breath out.
Silently offer yourself this phrase: I am allowed to choose myself, just as I am.
Sit with that for a few breaths. Notice what softens. Notice what resists.
There’s nothing to fix here. Just noticing is enough.
Today’s Reflection
Spend some time with these questions:
What am I tired of carrying or pushing through and why?
And when I don’t push, why do I feel guilty?
Write freely. Let the you inside you come out.